Michael, a friend of mine says, “Jealousy is defined in the context of a relationship”. Anita says, “At least you should be a little jealous in your relationship”. Could that be true?
Fact: “Jealousy shouldn’t be part of a healthy and long-lasting relationship” says marriage counselor Emmanuel Quartey.
So, could jealously be tearing your relationship apart? Look for these five signs to see.
1. Snooping through your partner’s phone
Angela ended her relationship the night she snooped out of bed, took his partner’s Samsung Galaxy S6 Edge+ and wanted to open the lock by fingerprint but failed. You can’t keep your shaky hands still. You would want to logon to the computer, phone, car and look for sometime to affirm that your partner is cheating on you. But let me remind you that healthy relationships are built on trust. Eventually you will find something that proves you were right, or they will catch you snooping and the relationship ends.
2. You’re angry if they don’t pick your calls or reply your texts immediately
Hell breaks loose when my ex-girlfriend calls twice and I didn’t answer. She would want an explanation to what prevented me from picking her call. What made me very mad was she tries to create the worst scenario possible of which she isn’t having the slightest idea of what is happening to me. The possible outcome is, you two will fight and quarrel over that till you break up.
3. You constantly want to be sure that your partner loves you
You want to get assurance and compliments that your partner loves you time and time again. But trust me, after some time, your partner may stop trying to give you compliments at all. It’s a no win situation for you both and an unhealthy pattern that will make a happy relationship impossible.
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4. You try to isolate your partner
Sandra, a course-mate said, “if you can’t just watch them 24-hours a day, you can keep them from any wrong behavior.” But what is worse is that you’re using your love for them as an excuse for limiting their life and convince both of you that no one will ever love them like you do. But this isn’t love, it’s manipulation.
5. Read double meanings into your partner’s messages from others
Every time you hear his phone’s message tone, you want to know who text the message and the content it entails especially from a female friend. You want to find a reason that he’s cheating on you. Because you don’t believe in your partner, whatever he says wouldn’t matter. Gradually as this progresses, you will force your partner to choose between you and that person. If they choose the other person, then you will be validated that there was something going on. And if they choose you, the process continues until they have finally had enough or actually do meet someone else who doesn’t question them all the time.